LASTING IMPRESSION
What prevents people from being forgiving?
When Moshe descended from Mt. Sinai and saw Bnei Yisrael engaged in fashioning the Golden Calf, he looked at Aharon who was striking it with a hammer. The intention of Aharon was not to help create it. He was trying to delay them until Moshe descended. However, Moshe believed that Aharon was a partner with them, and he was upset with him.
The Holy One blessed be He said to him: ‘Moshe, I know how Aharon’s intention was for the best.’ This is analogous to a prince who was arrogant, and he took the chisel to undermine his father’s house. His tutor said to him: ‘Do not exhaust yourself, give it to me and I will undermine it.’ The tutor feigned desire to destroy the palace, in order to prevent the prince from carrying out his plan. The king looked at the tutor and said to him: ‘I know what your intention was. As you live, I will not place anyone in charge of my palace other than you.’
“So too, when Bnei Yisrael said to Aharon: “Rise, craft us a god,”[1] he said to them: “Remove the rings of gold.”[2] He said to them: ‘I am a Kohein, I will craft it and I will sacrifice before it.’ But he engaged in it only to delay them until Moshe would come. The Holy One blessed be He said: ‘Aharon, I know what your intention was. As you live, I will not place anyone in charge of the sacrifices of My children other than you,’ as it is stated: “And you, draw near to you, Aharon your brother.”[3] [4]
Hashem instructed Moshe to draw his brother Aharon close. Why was this instruction necessary? Moshe felt there should be a distance between them. Moshe took issue with how Aharon handled the demands of Bnei Yisrael to form the Golden Calf. He could not justify Aharon chiseling the idol. Therefore, Hashem told Moshe that the intention of Aharon was noble and he should not create a distance between them. To the contrary, he should draw him close.
This seems difficult to understand. There is a Biblical obligation to judge people favorably.[5] When the subject is a righteous person, the obligation applies even if it appears very likely that a violation was committed. Aharon was a pure and righteous soul. The reality was as Hashem clarified, that Aharon did not sin. Why, then, did Moshe suspect that Aharon had committed a wrong? This is especially puzzling considering that Aharon had explained himself to Moshe.
There is no doubt that Moshe did judge his brother favorably. However, there was a bit of doubt that he had. It came from his first impression that there could have been something wrong that Aharon had committed. Certainly, he did not suspect Aharon of a gross violation. However, something, he suspected, was off. Once that was planted in his mind, he could not rid himself of that thought.
Moshe was a most devoted brother. He held Aharon in highest regard. Hashem told him that the intentions of Aharon were pure. Still, Moshe needed a direct charge from Hashem to draw him closer.
Sometimes people have a first impression that lingers. Even if they know that things have changed; even if they want to see things differently, that first impression leaves its mark. Although, in this case, the suspicion was minimal, there are cases where a first impression scars a relationship and prevents it from developing and healing.[6]
Do we get stuck with first impressions or can we get past them and be open to allow relationships to flourish?
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Hershel D. Becker
[1] Ki Sisa 32:1
[2] Ki Sisa 32:2
[3] Tezave 28:1
[4] Shemos Rabbah Tezave 37:2
[5] Kedoshim 19:15
[6] Chidushei HaLev Tezaveh 28:1
[4] Terumah 25:20
[5] Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch Terumah pp. 439-440
[6] Terumah 25:20
[7] Terumah ibid.
[8] Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch Terumah 25:16, 17_20
