THANKS…A LOT
Could you imagine thanking someone who intended to harm you?
The brothers of Yosef had sold him into slavery. This led to a series of events where eventually Yosef became viceroy of Egypt. During the time of famine, the brothers appeared before the viceroy and at one point Yosef revealed his identity. Yosef arranged for their father Yaakov and the entire family to relocate to Egypt, where Yosef provided for them. When Yaakov passed away, the brothers were afraid that Yosef would avenge their earlier treatment of him and the sale.
Yosef calmed them. He began, “Don’t be afraid, for am I the place of G-d?”[1] Only Hashem can judge intentions and motivation. I, as a human being see the result. Your actions brought great benefit. For that alone I have an obligation of tremendous gratitude toward you.[2]
An expert surgeon had been brought from the United States to Eretz Yisrael to perform an operation on the great sage, Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv (1910-2012). Afterwards, Rav Elyashiv requested from his students to teach him the English translation of todah, so that he could thank the surgeon. The students said that the Rav could say what he desired and they could translate, conveying his message to the doctor. Rav Elyashiv insisted and learned how to say thank you in English.
When the Rav saw the doctor after the operation, he took his hand and said to him, “Thank you.” The surgeon was moved by hearing these words from the Rav. Afterwards, the students asked why the Rav insisted on doing this. Every second of his life was precious and reckoned. Why did he take the effort to learn the English, when his message could have been conveyed effectively by them?
Rav Elyashiv cited a teaching of the Avudraham as the basis for his behavior. After Shmoneh Esrei, is said silently by all of the attendees, it is repeated by the chazzan, referred to as the shliach tzibbur, the messenger, representative of the congregation. He says all of the blessings on behalf of the community. Every blessing is followed with amen by the congregation.
There is one blessing that is an exception. That is at modim, a blessing of thanks. To express gratitude in the best way, it is insufficient to have a representative. Therefore, rather than just saying amen, everyone recites modim d’rabbanan, an entire paragraph to express their thanks personally. In great appreciation of the doctor, the Rav wanted to make sure that there were no intermediaries. Having benefitted by regaining his health, the Rav wanted to personally and directly express thanks to the surgeon.
Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (1910-1995) was known for his great piety. We are taught that every word of davening should be weighed and valued, like someone counting his money. That is how Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach davened, slowly, carefully enunciating each word,
There was therefore never an instance that he would have had to consider whether a word of prayer would have to be repeated, having been uttered without kavanah, intent. There was one exception. He was saying birkas hamazon. He said the paragraph of nodeh, we will give thanks. He then repeated it. Those around him were stunned. After he finished birkas hamazon, he was asked if he could explain what occurred.
“I felt that the first time I said it, there was a slight hesech hada’as, lack of concentration. Saying thank you without intent is not a thank you. To daven without intent is horrific. However, saying thank you in birkas hamazon without kavanah is much worse. How can one express gratitude without intent?”[3]
How do we say thank you?
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Hershel D. Becker
[1] Vayechi 50:19
[2] Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch ibid.
[3] U’peryo Masok Vayechi pp. 483-486